Body Shaming…..Just Stop!

MLM diet and shake/supplement programs, exercise programs/videos, before and after photos or so-called “progress” photos, workout challenges, fat shame…..see where I’m heading here????  If you are a female today, just those words probably began a small panic attack!  Oh and I forgot these that make me cringe….Bikini & Beach Body Ready and Summer bodies are made in the Winter.  Are you freakin kidding me????  All this creates shame and self-sabotage.  Diet’s are just a way to control us!

And you know what…..I was right along side this mentality.  I have been involved with multiple exercise programs and MLM diet-shake-supplement programs that make my head spin.  What did all this teach me about myself?  I was part of the problem!  Now before I proceed, understand this; I am in no way bashing any of the above.  This is from my own soul study.  Am also in no way calling anyone out and proclaiming I am better.  Again, this is from ME and ME alone.

My entire life I have had body image issues.  Being a child who was “thicker” than the popular girls, I knew from a very early age that my body was the judge and jury of me.  So, yes, I jumped on many bandwagons, weight-loss “programs”, diets-oh the diets, etc.  This lead to more of a downward spiral to self-sabotage, binge eating, bulimia, food deprivation, and more guilt and shame than I care to remember.  So fast-forward 35 years to today.  Am heavier than I have been in a long time, post-menopausal due to surgery, depression because I am heavier, shame due to my size, etc.  Having practiced yoga for past 10 years, I began teacher training.  This lead me to look at myself in a different light.  A much more positive light.

You see, my teacher is a facilitator for Embodied Love Movement.  So during our time together, positive body image and the mission of ELM oozes from her.  This has rubbed off on me.  Adding in my desire to learn more about Ayurveda Medicine/Lifestyle/Eating, I am seeing myself with a much kinder view.  From here lead to me discovering many Body Positive teachers and nutritionists and deciding to learn more.  Now add ALL this into my massage world = “A Whole New World” (in the tune from Aladdin).

I have walked away from all the MLM diet stuff, workout challenges, weight loss programs and jumping into the pond of intuition.  Allowing my intuition to guide me and trusting that I will once again connect my Mind-Body.  Have also learned that what we think, feel, stuff down deep, ignore will manifest in our body.  It’s true!!!!  So there is NO pill, diet, shake, or supplement that will fix that.

So why not just get a few workout videos or just go the gym?????  Well, when I do that, I watch everyone and may see improper form, using momentum to lift the weight or do the pull-up, or hyper extension of joints.  Frustrates me because I see how others are putting inappropriate pressure on their joints and body.  I see things down the road and know what issues will rise from all this.

As someone who constantly assesses individuals, my view goes straight to form and body movement.  From there I see what muscles are being used AND (which is often) the muscles being used in a way they shouldn’t be.  Now I am someone who can trip on flat ground and choke on air so exercising blind folded is not a smart move for me.  To help this, I work out alone so that the focus remains on my health and not what others are doing to theirs.  So minding my own business so to speak.

Am gonna toot my own horn for a minute….I know how the body is supposed to move, muscles-ligaments-tendons, how the muscles move, and that most soft tissue problems are due to imbalances.  Not the direct pain but what caused the pain from the beginning.  When we are in pain, that is due to issues that have been building over time.  Now not saying when you hit your thumb with the hammer it wasn’t the hammer.  Am talking of back pain, neck and shoulder pain, foot pain, headaches, etc.  So when you talk to me, I am scanning everything from body language to actual working on the body.

To sum it all up, be kind to yourself.  Talk to yourself the way you would your best friend who is feeling down.  Be gentle, understanding, and no judgments.  Do what speaks to you not what the popular crowd is doing.  Believe me, there is a pill, supplement, shake, diet for EVERYTHING!  You are a very smart being so start treating yourself as such.  Also, remember you are HUMAN.  So be human don’t just do human!

Peace, Love and Light!


Published by

Candy Fleming, BS, NC-LMBT #5963, RYT-200

With 25+ years experience with the human body, movement, assessment, and massage, I bring everything to your session. Each session is completely tailored to you the client. No two bodies are the same neither should your treatment. Including single session, bundled and package sessions are available. Contact me for more details.

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